Don’t Impede Her Sexual Pleasure – Penetration Alone Does Not Guarantee Orgasm

Not to be a bearer of bad news but male chauvinism is not yet dead! Just watch television for an hour or two and you find that society still believes all a man has to do is cast a seducing look at a woman and she is ready for sex. Guess what guys? Nothing is further from the truth. As the “stronger” sex we are still failing to sexually satisfy our lovers on a regular basis. This is not due to the woman’s lack of orgasmic ability but we do not understand how female pleasure works. All of the necessary plumbing is in place and active since puberty, all we need is to spend a little time learning how to “operate” the system.

Initially get over the idea that all that is necessary is to plunge your penis into a vagina and within a few hard thrusts your partner is wrapped in orgasmic throes. Vaginal intercourse ranks as one of the least effective methods to bring a woman to orgasm. Once you are past the entrance there are very few nerve endings that will bring pleasure. When you have been ineptly using this “poke-and-pleasure” approach your partner often thinks “I’ll just finish this job myself later on”. She knows exactly where those orgasm-inducing nerves are concentrated and can hit those spots until climax. Might just be a good idea to get your mind off your own “O” and ask her to help you improve your performance!

While all the necessary sexual equipment comes standard on your lady most of us neglect the most important one. The mind! A very large part of a woman’s sexual satisfaction has to do with her state of mind. Society still embeds into a young girls mind that most sexual encounters should have a certain amount of shame involved. A man with many “conquests” under his belt if often referred to as a “stud” and enviously admired by his peers. As for the “conquests” they frequently are tagged as sluts and looked down on by many males seeking partners. Even as they mature and discover themselves many women still find this a very large barrier to break through. Society and modern media portray women as the mechanism of male fantasy, bringing them immense pressure to live up to that standard, even when it has very little to do with her sexual pleasure. Attempting to overcome this pressure practically guarantees orgasmic failure! Again, why not work with your partner and help both of you overcome these idiotic standards?

Finally, a man should realize that sexual stimulation is not an on/off switch for his lady. Just touching her will not bring certainty to her orgasm, thus preparation for sex should be a total package and not just a “poke-and-stroke” adventure! Kiss her, stroke and caress her with love and MEAN IT! When you show her that you truly value her then sexual pleasures can easily be in the immediate future. While it is not your complete responsibility to “give” your partner an orgasm each and every time, knowing that when she feels relaxed, comforted and valued by the man in her bed achievement of real sexual satisfaction will no longer be just a dream!

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Exploring Your Sexuality

What exactly is sexuality? According to WebMD, sexuality is: 1. The sum of a person’s sexual behaviors and tendencies, and the strength of such tendencies; 2. One’s degree of sexual attractiveness; or 3. The quality of having sexual functions or implications. But what does that mean?

The sum of a person’s sexual behaviors and tendencies, and the strength of those tendencies, means, according to Wikipedia, the “manner in which humans experience and express their sexuality. This would, presumable, include how you feel about yourself, sexually speaking, and how you show others your sexuality. Do you feel sexy and feminine, or sexy and manly, as the case may be. And, if so, how do you express those feelings/emotions to other people. Do you dress in low cut shirts to show a little breast to attract the beast, or, in the case of men, in shirts with cut out arms and neck to show off all those muscles you have to attract the other beast? Each person expresses their sexuality in different ways. What about shy people, how do they express themselves sexually, maybe by being ‘brave’ and wearing shorts above the knee? Each person is different and each person shows their sexuality in different ways. None are wrong, it is not a test! It is each person expressing themselves in their own way.

What about number 2 – one’s degree of sexual attractiveness – meaning sexual appeal? What really is sexual appeal? Some would say it is the traits of a person making them look physically pleasing and attractive to another person. Of course, what is attractive and physically pleasing to one person may not be to another. Some people are attracted to model thin women, or hunky, muscle bound men! Others are not attracted to those traits in a person in the least. They may be more attracted to a woman of normal weight, or even overweight. Or to men of normal build or to men with a few extra pound, or even a lot of extra pounds. The sexual attraction of one person to another, given human diversity, is really “in the eyes of the beholder”.

So, what about the 3rd definition – the quality of having sexual functions or implications. Everyone has the capability of the function – everyone is equipped with sexual equipment (i.e. penises or breasts, and vaginas). But, is everyone able to function, for example- have sexual desire, arousal, and the ability to complete the sexual act in a satisfactory way to both parties involved in the act. Implication is, of course, a person’s involvement in the sexual act.

Your starting point for your research is above – best wishes in your research for your own sexuality!

Robert Mccormack has been writing articles online for nearly 2 years now. Not only does this author specialize in Relationships, Exploring your Sexuality, you can also check out his latest website about:

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Premature Ejaculation Tips – Limitations of Sexual Techniques


So far, we have discussed the physical aspects of various sexual techniques. It is important to end this discussion with some comment on the limitations of sexual technique.

In a very real sense, there is no such thing as the “right” and the “wrong” technique. Definitions of arousing and pleasurable sexual activities are not to be found in a recipe for sexual success. What is good sexual technique is what is arousing and enjoyable for both partners, and for that there is no list guaranteed always to please. A “skilled lover” is one who does things which highly arouse and please one’s partner.

What these might be depends on one’s partner. You can know ninety-nine different coital positions and forty-two different ways of engaging in oral sex, be the only one on your block to know the old handkerchief trick, and still be a sexual flop if your partner is perfectly satisfied with one coital position, is not into oral sex, and could care less what you do with your handkerchief. What makes for satisfying sex is sensitivity to, and communication with, each other regardless of technique.

As far as sexual equipment is concerned, the same principles apply. The crucial factor is not the equipment, but the operator. Males, having learned that bigger is better, often worry about their penis size. Research reveals that men think penis size is more important to a woman’s sexual satisfaction than women say it is (Tavris, 1977). For all but very, very few males, what they have will do just fine. Sex, unlike baseball, is not a game of inches. Females often worry about the attractiveness of their bodies, including the size and shape of such anatomical structures as legs, hips, and breasts.

If only the beautiful, taut, and heavily endowed could experience high levels of sexual arousal and satisfaction, most of the world would be permanently stuck at the excitement stage. If, however, sexual partners like each other as persons, they will find that their sexual equipment works very well. On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with being more sexually aroused by large or small breasts, fat or skinny bodies, or large or small penises. It is just that these attributes do not mean the same thing to all people, and what is a turn-on to one person will not even gain the attention of another.

There is certainly no harm, and in fact probably considerable benefit, in being informed about such things as sexual techniques and equipment. However, being concerned about such things can not only lead to fear of being a failure in sexual performance, but is likely to miss the mark in terms of what we know are the essential elements of sexual pleasure and satisfaction: interpersonal communication, understanding, and sensitivity.

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